April 10th is National Siblings Day – Learning Disability England echos the words of member Sibs who say ‘we know what a valuable role siblings play in the lives of their disabled brothers and sisters, how unique their relationship can be and how they need to be recognised and celebrated in their own right‘.
To mark the day, James O’Rourke, Family and Friends Member Representative at Learning Disability England and proud sibling to Tony O’Rourke, reflects on his and Tony’s personal story and the importance of sibling relationships…
Growing up with a sibling who has a learning disability brings a mix of emotions, challenges, and incredible rewards. It’s a unique journey—one filled with love, lessons, and moments that shape who you become.
My brother Tony is at the heart of my story. He’s more than my sibling; he’s been and continues to be my inspiration and friend. Like many siblings of people with learning disabilities, I’ve always loved him deeply.
But being Tony’s brother also meant that, at a young age, I had to learn to navigate a world that demanded more understanding and patience.
Lessons in Sacrifice and Purpose
As a child, I quickly realised that my parents’ attention often had to focus on Tony and his needs. It wasn’t something I resented; it was just the way our family worked. That early understanding of shared responsibility influenced my own choices later in life.
By the age of 12, I found myself advocating for Tony—speaking with social workers, doctors, and other professionals to ensure he received the care and support he deserved. Those early experiences lit a spark within me. They taught me about the power of communication and the value of standing up for someone you care about.
How Siblings Bring Value to the Family Dynamic
Siblings of people with learning disabilities often develop qualities like empathy, resilience, and patience. We become advocates, not just for our siblings, but often for others, too. Many, like me, find themselves drawn to careers that make a difference.
For me, that meant working in social care—a field where I could channel my personal experiences to help other families navigate their own journeys. My bond with Tony gave me a deeper understanding of the struggles families face, but also of their incredible strength.
The Positive Ripple Effect
Having a sibling with a learning disability can teach you to see the world differently. You learn to celebrate small victories and to face challenges with creativity and determination. This perspective doesn’t just stay within the family—it ripples out into friendships, work, and the community.
Being Tony’s brother taught me that value isn’t always measured by conventional standards. It’s about connection, effort, and the way we lift each other up. That’s a lesson I carry with me every day.
A Call to Celebrate Siblings
Siblings play a vital role in shaping the lives of people with learning disabilities—and their families as a whole. The bond between siblings is a unique partnership, one that’s built on love, shared experiences, and mutual support.
If you’re a sibling, whether of someone with or without a disability, take a moment to reflect on the role you play. Celebrate the unique relationship you share. And for those who support families, remember the siblings—they are an essential part of the caring story, too.
Are you an adult who has also grown up with a disabled brother or sister? Would you like to meet others who just ‘get’ what life as a sibling is like? You might want to join a Sibs support group…